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GD's Top 10 Albums Of Chaos

17/03/10 || Global Domination

Introduction by InquisitorGeneralis: Are you ready for ten of the angriest, craziest, fastest, most painful, brutal, intense, over-described albums in the history of metal… ever? You better be, pussy, because it is time for Global Domination’s Top Ten Albums Of Chaos. If you are not ready for blastbeats and hyperspeed insanity your balls will rip themselves from your worthless body, tear off a piece of your shit-stained tighty whiteys, and wave it like the White Flag of Surrender because these albums will fuck you up and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give you a reach-around.

It seems like every time we put out a list there is copious amounts of vaginal excretions and feminine whining. Well, if you internerds fuck with this list your computer will cease tolerating your intolerable wankery, grow arms and put your punk ass in a triangle choke. Sleep, bitch. Or, even worse – Lord K will come to your house, drink your Miller Lite, and force you to listen to Evanescence records while he fucks your wife. Enough of my drug-induced rambling, let’s get to the chaos.

Here they are ladies, the ten most insane, evil, spaz’d out, chaotic metal records ever recorded. I hope yer ready, I can see your balls trembling. Trust me, I’m looking…

10. Pig Destroyer: Phantom limb
^{Released: 2007}

Pig Destroyer (a not-so-discreet euphemism for, y’know, “cop killer”) hails from Virginia, USA, and plays grindcore of an extremely pissed off nature. In the past, they have put out records that defied even grind’s excessively chaotic nature, sounding like a fucking glass-and metal tornado ripping through flesh. BUT, the guys always tried new things, be them the addition of some subtle melodic parts, the experimentation with longer and slower song structures, thus avoiding the blender-in-heat effect that plagues grind almost from day one. With “Phantom Limb”, Pig Destroyer seems to go for an amalgamation of everything the band tried in the past. Is this a good move? Damn right it is!

The 15 songs contained in this record will rip the listener a few more assholes –mostly in places one least expects an asshole to be…- as he/she haplessly tries to make out what the fuck goes on inside the maelstrom of downtuned razor-sharp guitar riffs, bludgeoning drumming and hate-filled, scream/growl/howl vocals. Even when the band slows down to a crawl, the sense of total disorientation and lunacy the music invokes remains intact and in a compact 39-minutes length, “Phantom Limb” sounds less than a grind record and more like a REALLY violent acid trip through hell. Consume with care and, uh, we take no responsibility for any side-effects. For more info about this product, please refer here.

-Khlysty

9. Krisiun: Conquerors of Armageddon
^{Released: 2000}

The first time album opener “Ravager” (not counting the intro) exploded in my face I literally shit bricks, blood and pus. I don’t remember how I ended up hearing Krisiun in the first place but I wouldn’t be surprised if Jörgen Sandström had something to do with it. I was absolutely floored on all accounts either way. Fucken Krisiun, 3 crazy Brazilians who live and breathe death metal sure knew how to deliver the fucken goods. I was never the biggest fan of hyper-death but Krisiun managed to change that. Thanx, lads.

“Conquerors of Armageddon” is my fave album by these guys; sporting a killer production and an arsenal of death metal hits. This shit is to-the-core relentless, aggressive as a horde of bloodthirsty wolves on crack-cocaine and jam-packed with dedication and passion for their guiding star in life – death metal. I have had the honor to tour with these guys for a month and Max, Moyses and Alex are absolutely amazing individuals as well as extremely talented musicians who live for their death metal. I respect that. They are also one of my fave death metal bands, something they turned out to be thanx to this recording.

Krisiun is chaos, but underneath that chaos lies an incredible musicianship seldom seen in death metal of this kind. There are few bands who’ve got something unique going for them, especially in this genre. Immolation is one of them, Krisiun is another. Maybe we can mention 5 or 6 more on the top of our heads, but the point is that Krisiun sure created their own signature sound and have stuck to it since day one, only making it more intricate with each and every release (even if the productions at times really went out of the window… “Ageless venomous”, anyone?).

Krisiun deliver, album after album, and I don’t think we’ll see them leaving the scene in many, many years. This is what they do, this is what they love. This is Krisiun in their finest hour. “Conquerors of Armageddon”, muthafuckers! Death metal art that deserves its place on this list, without a doubt.

-Lord K Philipson

8. Brutal Truth: Extreme conditions demand extreme responses
^{Released: 1992}

It was 1992 when this brick shithouse of an album made Brutal Truth a household name in metal circles. True, Dan Lilker’s presence alone helped get the word out but this is a different beast than anything he’s done before. This is the band where he finally lived up to the expectations I’ve had of him after seeing him wear all of those sleeveless Napalm Death and S.O.B. shirts.

While I’m sure some of you reading this might think grindcore releases are all one dimensional (which isn’t a bad thing… really) but this isn’t the case here as Brutal Truth’s hybrid of death and grind keeps things moving along quite nicely. At times they ease off the gas only to suddenly take a sharp left into oncoming traffic and end up killing you, your passengers and anyone else in the vicinity. The amphetamine inspired drumming, manic shrieking, beautifully grotesque bass sound and colon clearing guitar tone all contribute to the chaos found within.

They shot a 2.18 second music video for “Collateral Damage” and it was actually entered into the Guinness Book Of Records for being the shortest music video on record. That is probably the most retarded category to keep a record of but hey, at least the title rightfully belongs to a grindcore band.

“Extreme Conditions Demand Extreme Responses” is an all you can eat smorgasbord of death and grindcore and by the time this was one is over, you’ll have to loosen the belt.

-Wooderson

7. Origin: Echoes of decimation
^{Released: 2005}

What has more sweeps than a cheap bastard playing Mortal Kombat? More blasts than a mountaintop coal mining operation? If you guessed an Origin album, you are correct sir. If you guessed a sweeping blaster, you are a fucken idiot. Origin have made a name for themselves by laying down concise, merciless albums filled front to back with pants-shittingly fast tunes designed to appeal to only the most hardened of deathites.

“Echoes of decimation” is just such an album.

There are maybe two tracks where the band even bothers to slow down in any way, shape, or form. And the only reason they did was because the liquid meth injection unit on drummer James King’s double bass pedals ran out of juice. These days the band seems to have shifted to slightly longer tracks (which I prefer), but if you’ve got a craving for hairy-balls-to-the-wall death metal that leaves the echoes of raped pennies bouncing around in your skull…’ tis “Decimation” for thee.

-Daemonomania

6. Behemoth: Zos kia cultus
^{Released: 2002}

Sure, Nergal and the boys really broke out with “Demigod” and its follow-ups “The Apostasy” and the incredible “Evangelion”. All three of these albums feature the brutality and insanity that one has come to expect from these Polish black/death satanic masters. However, in terms of chaos it is the often overlooked “Zos Kia Cultus that offers the greatest sacrifice to Lucifer.

As soon as you hear the haunting intro to “Horns ov Baphomet” you know you are in trouble. The slow, building, seething beginning makes you just want to fuck a nun with that evil dildo from “Se7en”. Real chaos pounds your brain from many directions, dragging you from one mental state to the next. The song finishes will in insane blast-o-matic idle and a huge Egyptian sounding breakdown at the end. Other chaotic numbers include the punishing “Blackest ov the black” and the massively aggressive “No sympathy for fools”. On every track Nergal’s intense, layered vocals will tear at your sanity while Inferno’s machine-like drumming will creative a mind-numbing resonance inside your fucking skull. “As above, so below” is a bit slower but still evil as all fucking hell.

“Zos Kia Cultus” is certainly not the fastest record on this list but is certainly takes the devil’s food cake for pure malevolence. It’s chaos comes from mixing in ear-splitting speed and aggression with slower, more haunting sections that keep the listener off balance. It warms my cold, dead heart that this black slice of pure evil made this list. Heed Satan’s call and embrace the chaos that is Zos Kia Cultus.

-InquisitorGeneralis

5. Marduk: Panzer division Marduk
^{Released: 1999}

Fuck love, I need war, and need it now. A total one would be nicer than nicest, one eradicating the whole of humanity exactly, but since I’m a modest guy I’ll settle for a dispute wiping out the entire population of Norway for now. While waiting for this to happen I of course need a shitload of music, the gods of war not hooked on amphetamine it seems, which is something I suspect the whole of Marduk where when recording “Panzer division Marduk”. Yep, this fucker is fast and violent from A-Z, a proper blastfest if there ever was one, and the numerous samples from what I assume to be WWII gives it an edge of chaos not to be missed. Unless, of course, you are a sissy into peace, love and equality. Death to all. Now.

-Kampfar

4. Terrorizer: World downfall
^{Released: 1989}

Here’s an album that, depending on your definition of chaos is, will divide many of you seeing it in a list like this. You see, at first listen for the uninitiated (as I was upon my first listen) this album is quite chaotic. I guess there was something in the water down in Florida (it IS a fucken boggy swamp of a landmass… fucken Florida) because this is also one of the best records of the 90’s. What was I saying before? Ah, yes: at first listen it’s quite chaotic. It’s also not. Weird, huh? Why is this record on this list if it’s not chaotic?

I’ll fucken tell you why. They at times play pretty fucken furiously, and quite fast, but it’s all contained within set song structures that work to also be excellent. This music wants to be completely chaotic and completely unbearable, but it’s so fucken good that it also doesn’t want to screw it all up and explode in your face (yeah, like the music was just appearing in the void). “World downfall” a lot like these new mini-nuclear generators that are being developed by Toshiba and some other company: controlled, self-contained chaos.

-Trauma

3. Insect Warfare: World extermination
^{Released: 2007}

These guys hate. You. Me. Themselves. Cheeseburgers. Everything. Why? Because they can. Frankly, it doesn’t really matter, because they brought the chainsaw to prove it.

If it were for me, “World extermination” would be this list’s winner, hands down, but you know about Lord K and his love for democracy, so here it is slightly short of its well-deserved glory. With this timeless 2007 effort, the band set the template for nasty, no-holds-barred grindcore anew. How did they do this, you ask? After all, the Grindcore formula had been pretty much devised after Napalm Death’s “Scum” already, and merely refined from there onwards – resulting in obscure differentiations such as porn- and gore grind. Obsolete, all of them, thanks to a bunch of three Texans. They took all the refined intensity and tightness gathered throughout around 20 years of grind, planed all the unnecessary crap off, topped it off with a mean, sawing production and pushed the pedal, making sure there was a shitload of grime coming out of the exhaust pipes.

Others have tried the same, no-one has come close, and this one full-length that Insect Warfare left us with is what every future grind release will have to measure itself against. Do yourself a favor and buy this album. A killer layout, artwork and lyrics like “Stalk the streets after a show for the perfect victim. A redneck in a a Carcass shirt, I steal it then I kill him. You’ll be next” await. Plus 23 minutes of anti-music.

-Habakuk

2. Nasum: Shift
^{Released: 2004}

I was VERY reluctant to do the write-up for Nasum’s watershed 2004 release, “Shift”. One, because I wasn’t sure how to handle a record that’s already achieved classic status, not only among grind-hounds, but all through metaldom. Two, because, well, Mieszko’s tragic and untimely loss casts a very big shadow over the band’s oeuvre and makes that task of even glorifying it quite difficult. Three, because, when all’s said and done, the music contained in here is one of the most chaotic, rabid, ugly, venomous and, at the same time, forward-thinking, progressive and surprising set of grind songs ever put to tape.

“Shift” is a landmark recording, not only because it ups the ante –to sky-high proportions- for grind-induced mania, but, also, because it achieves to infuse everything with an unparalleled sense of melody and controlled chaos. The songs attack the listener like rabid rotweillers from all sides; the guitars rip, slash and burn with excess abandon. The vocals consist of a throat-shredding scream that every time I hear it I want to go out and mess –badly- innocent bystanders. When the band goes into full-grind mode, you can fucking feel the shards and barbs of this huge mother of musical twister ripping your face.

But, what’s more important is the fact that the band displays here iron control over its crazed music. Strategically placed breakdowns, slow-downs and rev-ups give the listener –millisecond- breathing space, before the rampage continues to shake him like a skin-and-bone ragdoll. Microgrooves pop up here and there, little melodies appear and disappear in a blink of an eye, smart orchestration choices can be found everywhere: folks, this is as chaotic as it is genius. To wrap things up, this is the record that proves beyond all doubt that grind brutality and chaos CAN be catchier than the H1N1 virus. Just pay attention for the occasional cluster-bombing…

-Khlysty

1. Meshuggah: Chaosphere
^{Released: 1998}

The ‘Shug are one crazy bunch of motherfuckers. Jens Kidman always looks like he’s angrier than a horde of bees, and almost as satanic as Lucifer himself. Once, when they didn’t have time to record actual drums, they used a program called “Drumkit from Hell” to track twisted and insane beats for the “Catch 33” album, which to this day stands as one of the most mind-boggling drum performances on record ever. But for sheer chaos and bewilderment, their 1998 album “Chaosphere” is a definite pinnacle.

Any idea why? No? Here’s the thing; Meshuggah have this trick to their drumming that very many other bands would give all their limbs to be able to perform properly. Tomas Haake does this thing where he plays two different beats, one with his hands and one with his feet – and synchronizes them in such a way that it ends up being a 4/4 beat, if you count them. Still follow me? No? Over this they layer pounding , thrashy 7-string guitars, detuned as all hell, without any sense of melody whatsoever. Thump-thump-thump, boom-boom-boom. It’s like a constant stream of notes in odd mathematical patterns. Their vocalist doesn’t really sing as much as monotonously bark either, making a first-time listener ask “what the hell is going on here?”. It sounds like complete aural chaos, songs spinning seemingly without rhythm or melody, yet carefully constructed to have a uniting theme run through them. It is not as fast as, for example Marduk, or as schizophrenic as say, The Dillinger Escape Plan, but it is crazier than a herd of 20 pink wildebeest with brown spots. On speed, ecstasy, and LSD at the same time. Add to that the almost robotic production Meshuggah creates, and you’re in for some chaos the size of the universe.

There are many crazy things in the world of metal, but none are as crazy as this album, and it is hence the deserved winner of the Global Domination Penis Trophy for the competition in the Albums Of Chaos. If you want actual chaos, disorder, and anarchy, Meshuggah is the band to go to.

-Altmer

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